Autodidact Renaissance Man
He started out drawing pictures, wanting to become R. Crumb or da Vinci.
Painting, which followed, mostly ended up in many splotchy canvases sitting next to the trash bags on the curb. No Picasso, no Vermeer.
He then picked up the ukulele and aspired to being Arthur Godfrey or Tiny Tim; luckily no recordings exist.
His self-taught approach to architecture, which was the next discipline he pursued without the necessary discipline, was limited to making things in the back yard with wood planks. The aspirations to Gaudi and Hadid fell short.
Then there was the week running around the neighborhood with a can of spray paint, zapping walls with a stylized letter G (self-referential for his name, George, and his art, graffiti). Banksy or Lady Pink, not.
That thing over there that looks like a cross between a balloon animal and a naked woman was from his sculpture period. No Rodin, not even Koons.
His photography, consisting of urban skylines taken upside down, garnered a dozen “likes” when shared on social media. Fans of everyone from Avedon to Weegee were dismissive.
His foray into modern dance was described by a friend as Twyla Tharp meets Monty Python.
His chubby fingers kept his experiments with quilt-making and knitting to one week each.
He discovered the Fluxus art movement and the international Mail-art network, but due to postage costs bailed after sending out pieces to only two correspondents, Ray Johnson and TorridZone Igloo.
Then there was the video camera. His only film, “Why Does An Erect Penis Illicit Such Ardent Response”, was compared unfavorably with the work of Kenneth Anger and Jack Smith.
Most recently, aiming to become Franz Kafka or Thomas Pynchon, he took up the pen; well, computer keyboard. The first project he is considering is to write an autobiography of his autodidactic journey through the arts.
Eighth of thirty-one stories — 500 words or less, written one-per-day during December 2018 — The Hunt & Peck Parables PatchWord Quilt™©.
© AleXander Hirka 2020. All Rights Reserved.