Don’t Miss The Exit

Swerve And Escape


Edward at eleven:
He likes watching accident videos on YouTube.
Just the fun ones.
Fun = nobody gets hurt. Or not too much.
Truck tops not clearing overpasses delight him.
His parents are concerned. His gratitude list, in which he writes down five items every night before going to bed, repeatedly lists “invention of the dashcam”.
He has asked for a GoPro camera for the upcoming Xmas, with a mount for bicycle and helmet.

This preoccupation began last year as a result of his puppy, Chance.
His Uncle Zeb had a circus act with dogs and when one got pregnant he had puppies to disperse.
Mom and Dad thought getting Edward the dog was a good idea. Something to distract him from his then blossoming obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Not stepping on cracks on sidewalks when he walked down the street, retying his shoelaces constantly, and repeatedly rearranging his stuffed animals were just three among his many habits. He could not begin his homework or any household chore without first repeating the mantra-prayer—Luck, be a lady— which he’d picked up from a Frank Sinatra record his parents played.

YouTube Excitement

While playing outside one day, Chance started running out into the street just as a car was approaching. The pup must have accessed some of that Big Top DNA because he leapt an amazing distance up into the air and over the car hood, avoiding something that would certainly not = fun.
The awed driver happened to have a dashcam, showed the clip to Edward’s family—and up on YouTube it went. (It still shows up in Amazing Pet Trick compilations.)
Edward began to regularly watch it on the family computer, and when he wasn’t being supervised, he started checking out the amazing accident compilations in the side panel of links.
He also liked watching the extreme weather clips, the building demolition implosions, and occasionally sports bloopers.



aleXander hirka

Writer, visual artist, philosopher, autodidact, curmudgeon. More than half of what i do is make believe. https://alexanderhirka.nyc