They have been extremely rare, these occasions when he experiences his father — as in being inside his father’s body — physically, and thoroughly — but they have been very powerful.
It’s not any variation of remembering, and it is not perceived as imagination.
Just now, lying on the bed. The sun’s fading but still present autumnal warmth — it stopped on his leg, where his hand had come to rest. There was no noticeable moment of transformation, just a sudden deep sense of being inside his father’s face, below which, his father’s body.
In those seemingly frozen moments, attempting to hold onto and examine the sensations, he’s proposed to himself the idea of some deeper unexplored aspects of transferred DNA in his brain chemistry. But as before, when this happens, any examinations surface briefly and then swim away, scattering like fish into depths, disappearing.
His attempt today is an analysis proposing the possibility of some psychological link, transmitted upward through his hand on the muscle of his thigh, to some sort of broad archetype of masculinity he carries.
He’s written aspects of this experience down in the past, but afterwards it all just seems like dream material — not helpful to him; and to others he’s shared it with, quite flat, meaningless. Maybe Mister Jung could help.
Now the rays coming through the window are blocked by a cloud, the warmth fades, and his father leaves.
© AleXander Hirka 2019. All Rights Reserved.
Heliocentric Redux 2019
Heliocentric. October 2018 writing project — one short sketch a day, under 250 words each, circling like a planet around The Sun.