Between A Crematorium and a Dildo Shop

Julie Anna and Her La Petite Mort

“History of Faux Phalli ” — digital collage by AleXander Hirka

Trisha was working her shift at Truc Chaud (Hot Stuff—it was a French neighborhood) when Julie Anna came in.
She always lets the customers browse a while before offering any help.

Ooh la la, the varieties!—thought Julie Anna.
It had been a couple years since she’d gone sex toy shopping.

Wonderfully, the advancements in science and technology were not being limited to more detached digital ways to connect but also to extending three dimensional touch—as was evident in all the faux penii and toys she was now surrounded by.

The shapes and colors and sizes were staggering. There were many varieties of beige vanilla—what Crayola used to call “flesh”—up through mocha latte, caramel and olive, all gradients of brown, and into black. Many of the latter were, to quote Lenny Bruce, “the size of a baby’s arm with an apple in its fist”. There were now a number that were intact, reflecting the growing trend in the USofA of abandoning the unnecessary barbaric surgery of circumcision—some with actual moving foreskins.

There were two-ended dildos. Ones with testicles. Flexible and rigid. Packers—soft penii worn to give the appearance of having a penis and male bulge—trans men toys. Little ones—and massive ones cast from famous porn star penii. Rainbow striped. With vibrators built in. Stainless Steel. Glass.

While Julie Anna was closley examining something soft and big called a Maverick (thinking: I’d be willing to bet McCain didn’t pack anything like this) Trisha came over and asked if she was looking for something particular.

Oh yes indeed, actually, yes. My boyfriend and I are celebrating six years together next week. I’m looking for something that will fit into the the leather harness I already have for when I’m pegging him, as well as something that would really fill me up — my best orgasms come from being fucked by a large dildo.

Hmmm. Well, we have quite a few that would fit that description.
That combination of desires has been around for couples from way back, she said, pointing to a display case behind the counter which contained a carved wooden dildo. It’s a very old Japanese olisbos sandal, she explained.
But I do have one right here that I’ve actually had a number of customers come back and rave about.
It’s this one—the “La Petite Mort”.

La petite mort?

It translates to “little death” — sort of a euphemism for orgasm!

I think you just scored a sale, replied Julie Anna, with a wide grin.
Oh, and I also need some more lube.

Her new toy in a bag, she walked to the other side of the lot where she parked. She had wondered why the lot was so full. Now she could see that some news event was taking place in front of Pouce Vert Landscaping. (Green Thumb Landscaping—French neighborhood.) News station trucks, cameras and microphones were set up. With all those flags some kind of political press conference was apparently about to take place.

She didn’t care. She was excited by her purchase and wanted to go and get some nice paper to wrap this special gift she had bought for herself and her boyfriend.

She sat for a minute looking out the front window of her car. She had parked right near the entrance of La Grande Mort Cremation Center.

Not yet, she thought. I’m planning on a lot of la petite mort way before that.

© AleXander Hirka 2020. All Rights Reserved.

Writer, visual artist, philosopher, autodidact, curmudgeon. More than half of what i do is make believe. https://alexanderhirka.nyc

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store