31 Things Not Overheard (3 of 3)
21. Women on sidewalk with clipboard —
Excuse me can you spare a minute? Don’t be apprehensive—I don’t represent any organization and I’m not seeking any signatures. This clipboard is merely a theatrical prop. All I’d like to do is to cajole you with a couple mouthfuls of balderdash. Jive ya with a sprinkle of gibberish. I’d like to walk a few steps with you—traverse this bit of sidewalk while I tantalize you with some trivial tripe. I have a PhD in poppycock. Valueless vapid vernacular is my specialty. Heck, maybe after a while you might just get compelled to dispatch some mad-hatter mumbo jumbo back towards my ears.
22. At a meditation retreat —
Consider a singularity. Something that never existed before, and that won’t ever again. Consider the reality that you are a one of a kind. If you weren’t here how different everything would be. Where would that cushion you are sitting on be right now? Everything would be that much different, an alternative distribution. You are one possibility that happened—and there are billions that didn’t. The air over the city would have different flight patterns of birds if you were not there to put seeds out on your fire escape.
23. At the musical recital—
Welcome Ladies and Gentleman. Today’s program will consist of two different cello-focused pieces—each very powerful in their own way. We will be concluding with Beethoven’s magnificent Cello Sonata No.1—which liberated the sonata form by raising the cello to equal footing with the piano. A magnificent work indeed. But first—will be begin this evening with Arvo Pärt’s Speigel im Spiegel—which translates to mirror in the mirror. We ask you to join us on this musical journey wherein the piano and cello pulse together like heartbeats and breaths. Come—inhale the music as if an intoxicating perfume has effused the room.
24. At the clinic —
I’m so glad I can at least talk to you about it doctor. With friends and family they basically do what they can to quickly change the subject, to get me to shut up. At least with sex you can share your thoughts with double-entendre and joking. But death—no way—not until you get that one big final diagnosis. Then you get…