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31 Things Not Overheard (1 of 3)
December 2022 — In The Chimeric City of New York
1. He told me —
There was a speaker in the ceiling at the drug store. The way Bing’s voice slid out of that sound-producing orifice and into his ear canal—so smooth, rich, mellow —”It’s beginning to look a lot like . . . “ — reminded him that he needed to pick up some stool softener.
2. A sales clerk at Barnes & Noble—
The paperback of George Orwell’s “1984” is currently out of stock. But we do have the audiobook.
Listening is a whole different experience from reading—replied the customer. You shouldn’t even sell those things in a bookstore.
Oh, I s’pose—but this version is read by Elon Musk.
3. He confessed over a beer —
I bought this product called Pavlock. It’s a wristband gizmo that you program with behaviors that you want to stop doing. It jolts you with electricity whenever you perform any of the forbidden actions. I then programmed mine to help me stop buying stupid new technology.
4. The therapist suggested—
Switching from the domed constrictions of your bowler hat—to the three-pointed sleeves of the jesters' hat—will give your subconscious more directions and room to emerge. I think you’ll also…
